“I feel pretty, oh so pretty.”

In preparation for Folsom Street Fair last weekend, I decided I would get a full Brazilian bikini  and eyebrow wax. I did keep the rest of my leg and armpit hair though. I am a body hair switch and to be honest most of the time it’s out of laziness. I view body hair as an accessory and will keep or change it based on how I feel that day and what I am wearing.

But I digress.

Holy hell did I forget how insanely horrible it feels (to me) to have hot wax poured on my genitals, then have my pubes ripped out only to have this followed up by some heavy handed plucking of the remaining hairs with some blunt ass tweezers. I heart the woman who did this to me mainly because it is more than obvious that she is a complete sadist. Ah Judy.  She was laughing the entire time only to comment on how “deep” and “thick” the roots of my follicles were. Thanks Judy, I noticed. She is truly amazing. Here are some of her fantastic quotes:

I wince, muttering obscenities under my breath…

” God? God won’t help you, only Judy can help you now.”

“Hey, so when I pull this, you say ROCK AND ROLL.”

Crying… “rock and roll.”

“One time I was waxing this guys back and he kept screaming ‘OBAMA’.”

“Another time he asks if he was bleeding” … laughter…” NO, you’re not bleeding.”

amazing.

Why did I wax in the first place? Because I was hoping to get my junk sutured shut for the day and it’s easier for me to suffocate people with it without hair on it.

Considering how much pro doms make an hour, Judy is severely underpaid, but I’m pretty sure she gets a kick out of her job and that’s pretty much the best we all can really ask isn’t it? I try to tip her generously, because I appreciate a true sadist.

I think about this and how common it is … for grown “vanilla” adults to pay to have complete stranger pour hot wax on them and rip out their body hair in large quantities so they can achieve that desired look, beauty if you will, so they can be told how pretty and smooth they are.

Praise bottoms.

We’ll I guess I am more of a degradation top, but you can bet your ass I enjoy the beauty of marks left behind, reddened skin and the

sensitivity it brings.

I had lunch with my mom right before Folsom. She is at the age and cultural demographic where collagen shots are all the rage. My aunt, similar in age, has spent over 100K under the knife of plastic surgeon. All in the name of beauty. Taking this all into consideration, paying $300 plus for a good flogging or to be wrapped in latex and told what a “pretty little slut” you are doesn’t seem all that kinky. To me, it seems like a pretty comparable rate and experience one might find at a day spa.

Beauty really just is another word for “bottoms’ high.”

“Hey internet, Imma let you finish, but print had some of the best pornography of ALL TIME.”

So I am a traditional photographer by trade. I’ve shot 35mm, medium format, 4×5, printed on fiber base by hand, used color processors and had sepia toner stain my nail beds. I started interning for the  skin mag On Our Back right out of college and began catalog design a couple years late. I love print. There is a perfectionism and physicality to it that is something that cannot be found online. I like having things in my hands, between my fingers. I like the smell of ink and there is something a little beautiful about a paper cut.

I simply adore vintage gay boy smut,  dog-earred newsprint with ink smudges.

Yesterday I went out to grab a copy of Original Plumbing Magazine at my local bookstore but ended up pre-ordering it online. Here’s a little about them:

“Original Plumbing documents diversity within trans male lifestyles through photographic portraits and essays, personal narratives and interviews. We  feel that there is no single way to sum up what it means to be a trans man because we each have different beliefs, life experiences and relationships to our own bodies.”

Their first issue features Crash Pad star Cyd Loverboy and many more stunning trans guys (side note: I have not worked with Cyd yet, but would love to! I have however slept with some other people in this magazine, but who wouldn’t? Fucking buy it so you know what I am talking about). If you like eye candy spiked with trans culture and intelligence, they’ve got your fix. So now I am eagerly watching my mail box.

Another thing I hope will soon get stuffed in my mailbox is the upcoming 2nd issue of Art XX Magazine.

“Welcome to the second issue of ArtXX: A Radical Arts Magazine. It’s been nearly a year since our last issue, but we promise it was worth the wait. This issue is chock full of mind blowing talent, fierce politics, and endless creativity. Our goals are three-fold: to improve the visibility of a group of artists who are significantly marginalized on the basis of their gender and/or sexuality, to be a source of documentation for the extraordinary work this group produces, and to serve as a space for free artistic expression and a vehicle for social change through the avenue of independent publishing. We are fighting the disinformation of mainstream media and offering a place for our unique performative, visual, written, analytical, and sexual languages to seen and known. We believe in the power of art and media to make radical transformations in the lives of its audience, just as we believe in the power of the audience to make radical impressions on art and media. Thanks to all our readers and contributors for your support, input and creativity. You inspire us.

Our identity crisis/gender dystopia?

We titled the magazine ArtXX: Women in the Arts, wanting to make a strong statement about an underrepresented group of individuals that crossed the lines of sexuality. We realized that by naming ourselves after a chromosomal definition of gender we have alienated members of our own community, and compromised our own theories and ideals on the fluidity of gender. We are a magazine for all female bodied, female- identified, and trans male and trans female artists and their (our) many genders— straight girls, femmes, femmebots, andros, fags, fag hags, fag daddies, unicorns, narwhals, etc, etc…

We do not believe in genetic or cultural determinism. We believe in owning what is ours and reinventing everything else.” –Francesca Austin Ochoa

Not only does issue 2 of Art XX feature some of the work of my favorite artists (how about images from a super rad Crash Pad photographer?), but you’ll also find interviews and articles by some of your favorite Crash Pad Series people. If you consider your brain to be your biggest sex organ, than Art XX Magazine might be the best smut you have ever gotten your grubby little ink stained hands on. Buy it here!

Ok, go ahead and finish up your online porn viewing now. Seriously though because there is some really hot videos that just don’t translate that well to print and my random babblings can also be found on the internetz so I am not hating on it one bit.

<3

Syd Blakovich aka Shawn

If you’ve seen Crash Pad Cutie Vai in action, you’d know she’s quite the gusher. Female ejaculation is a beautiful feat.

To celebrate, here is a photographic ode to Vai’s abundant prostata femina.

To see a REAL fountain show, check out Vai on CrashPadSeries.com (NSFW).